This week, I dragged my fiance, Sav, into the worry series because it only seemed right that we would be the ones to start. We explore kitchens and recipes and much more. If you have the spare $5 a month, please consider supporting us a little more so I can make more dope content like this. Let’s get into it.
Hey, Sav. What is something about you that I should share with the readers to get us started?
Hi Ashy, I am from New Zealand, and I have spent the last few years obsessed with cooking. As you know, I am now a chef. My true joy is baking, though, and I want to start on that venture ASAP. A fun fact about me is that I am terrified of butterflies and actually find them super hideous. Yuck.
I guess the first anxiety we have unearthed is butterflies. Other than Butterfly farms, where would you say you feel anxiety the most?
I think the unknown. Not knowing the outcome sometimes terrifies me. I like to be prepared and know what to expect, in a different way from you, where you don’t like to go to unfamiliar places, etc. I struggle with trying new things, mainly because I want to do things well, so I sometimes don’t try at all because I am so scared I won’t be good. I definitely feel the most anxious at work. I love cooking, but there is a different kind of pressure when you have to cook in a certain amount of time, and the dish has to look and taste delicious. I am a bit too hard on myself, I want everything to look great the first time around. I know this isn’t realistic, but try telling my brain that.
I feel many would relate to the anxiety of the unknown. Would you say some of the pressures surrounding cooking are positive ones?
Yes definitely. Pressure can come in different forms. The good kind of pressure pushes me past my boiling point, and I cook and plate 50-plus meals and don’t even think twice about any of them. It pushes me to be quicker and better. Then there’s the other kind of pressure that makes you feel like you aren’t capable, and your boss is expecting so much, and they are asking for so much when you are the only person on the island, and you are barely managing to swim. Now, that is a make-or-break moment. You either sink, or you f*cking swim. And sometimes, I do just sink.
Even though it is a career, is cooking a calming practice? Could it be said that it’s a coping mechanism?
I would say for me yes. I would say more baking, though, because there is a science to it, and I love knowing that a certain amount of ingredients will work out; that is super calming to me. Like something will either rise or it won’t. It is all about the measurements.
There is calm in precision, and if you are focused on a bake, I understand why that would take a person away from their worries. What else would you say calms you?
Coming home to you after a long day at work, hehe. Evening walks. Swing sets. Rainy days. Reading a book (depends on the book. Some books are stressful AF). Movies in bed. Jigsaw puzzles. Drinking English breakfast teas on the couch. Listening to my favorite music in the car. Chatting to friends. Dancing in the kitchen. Long hot showers. Sunsets.
And rewinding a bit, have you figured out ways to start projects despite fearing the potential failure?
It is definitely in the doing. Just doing it. Be a DOER. When I used to watch Grey’s Anatomy before they killed everyone off, don’t get me started. However, the character Izzie said in one episode that she wanted to be a doer. To not just sit on the sidelines. To just DO! I have spent so much of my life watching others succeed, and I have to let go sometimes. Letting go of fear can be so hard. It isn’t easy. It tests you but is so rewarding when you finally let go.
I also think there is a redefining of failure. Does it truly exist if your failures make you better and lead towards success? I talk about that a lot in this newsletter, and I always push you to do anything because all I see is you becoming even better than you already are. I don’t think you always see it this way.
That is a great way to look at it. Mistakes and failures in cooking and baking can create something you never knew you wanted. For example, in my Ted Lasso shortbread bars, I melted the butter too much, which made a different texture change and softened the middle, and now it is the only way I make them. Failure can be good. Failure leads to improvements. I need to remember this. You are my forever cheerleader. Thank you for motivating me to do more and be more.
We discussed accidental discoveries on ‘The Matchbook’ with and it is precisely this. Greatness comes from failure. If somebody wanted to begin baking or try baking as a coping mechanism, is there something you’d suggest them to make?
A basic recipe that would surprise everyone is making pizza dough. It is so simple and quick. You don’t need to knead this one; you just stir it with a spatula, and this one doesn’t even need a rise time which is pretty wild. This recipe here is so simple and stress-free yet so delicious. Cakes are also super calming to me, the icing part especially. I lose myself watching videos of people just swirling icing.
I can confirm the pizza dough is delicious. As a final question, aside from the advice of just being brave and doing whatever your heart is calling for, what other advice can you offer to anybody worrying right now?
I think you just have to remember that nothing lasts forever. This feeling here right now will also fade. You will get through it. You need to keep pushing forward and just let go. Be a DOER. Don’t sink, swim.
And we don’t last forever, so if there is a time to take hold of the bull’s horns, it’s now!
Always.
Always. And thank you for your time and your honesty.
Thank you for you.
What did you think of this edition? Are you going to bake a cake now? Are you off to watch somebody stir icing? Sound off in the comments.
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